Times New Roman presided over the recent Font Conference, which centered on whether the conference would offer membership to Zapf Dingbats.

In attendance at the conference were the following faces:

Times New Roman
Arial Narrow
Arial Black
French Script
Rage Italic
Baskerville Old Face
Bookman Old Style
Wide Latin
Old English
Jokerman
Futura
Century Gothic
Wingdings
Broadway

Baskerville Old Face gave one of the more passionate arguments against Zapf Dingbats, saying, "When I was just a four point, a font was a font. Letters were good enough for us, not these damn doodlings."

In a shocking development, Ransom hijacked the conference's AV system and interrupted the contentious debate with a threat to Courier and his daughter, Curlz MT. (This reporter notes that she was unaware they were in the same family.) Ransom declared that unless he was given prominent placement in every copy of Word, Notepad, Photoshop, Final Draft, and Microsoft Works, Courier or Curlz MT would lose their serifs.

Luckily for the more squeamish of the conference attendees, Comic Sans appeared to liberate the captive typefaces.

To watch a broadcast of the debate and Ransom's thwarted attempt, go to Font Conference Coverage.

A still from the coverage catches Baskerville Old Face and Bookman Old Style speaking heatedly to each other: